7 Japanese Nomikai Don’ts To Keep in Mind

Let's discuss the seven sins of nomikai.

Nomikai, or drinking with colleagues, as everyone working in Japan knows, is part of the job. There’s nothing worse than going to work on Monday, red-faced, wishing you could hide in every available corner over embarrassment from the night before. With the upcoming end-of-year parties and numerous opportunities to enjoy a few drinks with your colleagues, here are a few tips on what to avoid during your next Japanese nomikai.

Some of these might sound pretty obvious, but with alcohol involved, it’s probably a good idea to reiterate them anyway.

1. Don’t Get Too Casual

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Drinks tend to get us relaxed. It won’t be long before you start making yourself comfortable and acting like your colleagues are your best buddies. While that’s great for the work environment, remember that your boss sitting near you won’t necessarily appreciate it if you get too casual with him/her. The same applies to colleagues you are not particularly close with.

For us foreigners, being casual is sometimes a sign of affection and closeness. However, many Japanese people may actually find it inappropriate. If you’re using Japanese, always use the polite “desu/masu” form to your superiors even if you’re in a tipsy good mood. Never use slang or call them “anata,” “omae” or any other names you wouldn’t use in an office environment.

2. Don’t Reveal Too Much

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Discussing your preferred underwear or private interests while everyone laughs while drinking may be fun. However, it won’t be funny the next day at work. You’ll feel awkward knowing everyone knows more about you than you wanted. Respect your privacy and respect your colleagues’ right not to want to know your house secrets.

3. Don’t Badmouth Other Colleagues

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You never know how your words can be interpreted. You may just be trying to make a joke. However, the next day at work, you might find someone is unhappy with you. Chances are, they may have heard something. Even if you dislike someone, say a few positive things about them. Avoid saying anything that could get you in trouble. Remember, Japanese nomikai can be like school or the internet. Things get easily misinterpreted and spread around.

4. Don’t Talk Negatively About Japan

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You don’t want to be the foreigner who is trying to entertain the crowd by making fun of your host country. Remember, you’re probably surrounded by at least a few colleagues who happen to be Japanese and even if they laugh along with you—they’re probably not really enjoying it.

5. Don’t Get Too Drunk

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Three words; know your limit. Remember this is not your college dorm, this is your work environment. Are you really ok with your colleagues seeing you intoxicated, sleeping at a restaurant and whatnot? Drink less than your limit and always make sure that you’re stable enough to go back home on your own and have actual memory of the entire drinking experience. You don’t want anyone from work carrying you home.

6. Don’t Look Bored

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Even if you don’t understand the language completely and the party is indeed slightly boring, don’t make it too obvious. Don’t check your phone every five minutes showing everyone that you have better ways to spend your evening. Try to find a common topic and get involved in the conversation.

Specifically targeting people you have rarely spoken to before is a great way to enjoy the evening and make it fun for everyone else as well. You don’t want to be the only person in the company who no one wants to invite to the next gathering.

7. Don’t Reveal Nomikai Accidents

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What goes on at nomikai stays at nomikai. Even if you saw your usually stern boss dancing to AKB48 with his necktie tied to his head, don’t remind them about it the next day. Don’t take photos of them doing it and don’t make them a legend at work over something they’re probably embarrassed about anyway.

No matter what happened during the nomikai, greet your colleagues the day after by thanking them for the great night. And if you were the one dancing with the tie on or doing other embarrassing things, apologize to your colleagues, thank them for their care and make it up for them over lunch or dinner. Kampai!

If you have any fun, embarrassing or unique stories from a recent Japanese nomikai that you would like to share, please leave a comment. Go on, don’t be shy!

This article has been republished for 2024.